Fabulous Feminist Moms – because let’s face it, I’m still fuming.

The other night I noted that slamming women who choose to be stay-at-home moms is one of my pet peeves because this completely overlooks the real issues women face, i.e. being understood and understanding ourselves as valuable, capable and empowered and having access to the resources to be free to make choices. Culturally, Western thinking frames childcare as womanly or domestic work and therefore undervalues the complexity and necessity of this kind of work. (In the comments to my last rant on this topic – a good buddy of mine, Jeff Nall pointed out that Val Plumwood does a great job of detailing the fault in this type of thinking – noting that “the core features of patriarchy, including the devaluation of “domestic” duties … wants to take out lifeboats for elite women to join elite men, leaving behind the rest.”

We can’t draw lines in the sand – we can’t say she’s a republican or a christian or a stay at home mom, so she’s not a feminist. Feminism isn’t about what you think or do – it’s about the freedom and access to think and act as you desire. Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of perusing Jennifer Baumgardner’s new book F ’em!: Goo Goo, Gaga, and Some Thoughts on Balls and the sentiments in the first few pages of this book crystallize these ideas. Baumgardner explains:

“Feminism is the full political, social and economic equality of all people…Feminism is also a movement to make sure that all people have access to enough information and resources (money, social support) to make authentic decisions about their lives. Thus, it’s not the decision one make so much as the ability to make a decision that indicates whether feminism has arrive in your life” (10).

One of the most outspoken activist/feminist minds I know, Kristen Goss is a stay-at-home mom. I am also well acquainted with some stay at home dads – who are rockin’ the world – one politically conscious child at a time. As far as I’m concerned, child care is job – a choice – often feminist choice – one which often require sacrifice and hard work for both parents – that is if one is lucky enough to be co-parenting. (No judgement here – just noting that a child is a lot of work for one person.)

Today – in a flagrant attempt to appease my own anger at those that dismiss stay at home mom’s as un-feminist, I am providing you with links to my five favorite feminist/mom bloggers. There are others but these five bring to mind Bell Hooks sentiments that Feminism is for Everyone:

1. The Feminist Breeder

2. The Radical House wife

3. Blue Milk

4. Stay at Home Feminist Mom

5. The Mamafesto

We need to support feminist parents people – because arguably they have a much greater chance of raising kids with feminist values!

Inform me – who’s your favorite feminist mom blogger?

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5 responses

  1. Reblogged this on By The Pin and commented:
    This is a good read.
    Coming up with a “final” definition of feminism is, I think, impossible. Furthermore, it’s probably a good idea to resist the temptation to do this at all. If, as Feminist Cupcake notes here, feminism is about equality for everybody then it should always be forward looking. It should always be leaning towards recognizing new kinds of injustice, new kinds of inequality. The feminism ideal is better understood as a disposition to criticize existing institutions and social structures with an eye towards justice.
    Stay-at-home moms can most certainly be feminists. And if some feminists say they aren’t, then we need a brand new feminism to work against the stigmatization of stay-at-home moms.
    And that reminds me, I need to add that I’m a part-time stay-at-home dad to my about…

  2. I love this: “The feminism ideal is better understood as a disposition to criticize existing institutions and social structures with an eye towards justice” — I’ll quote you on that. Did you check out these women’s blogs? I’ve been a fan of Stay at Home Feminist Mom for years – she’s so funny!

  3. I just want to say, I don’t even know you, but I think our brains were networked because I’ve been thinking exactly along these lines. One of the things that bothers me about this line of thinking is that it reinforces the idea that your value is related to your net worth. I think you could argue that a feminist perspective is one where that structure is questioned.

    • There are so many issues with the line of thinking that says net worth is all that’s valuable. Also the goal of total self sufficiency – or rather total and complete independence – is illogical. Humans are interdependent animals we need care – sick people need care – older people need care babies need tending – we all need care!! – also if the feminist (male/female) is not tending her baby then who is? And who is caring for her baby’s caretaker’s baby – is the feminist’s nanny or daycare full of unempowered women and men?

  4. Thanks for the shout-out! I’m been grinding my teeth down to nubs lately with all the fresh Mommy Wars attacks, especially the latest one over at Feministe. This made my day…..and just might save my teeth.

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